Lord of Poker, Scum of the Internet

Let me first explain why this crap is even on my software review site. A couple of weeks ago I got an email from a very capable online poker player who is good enough to be making a full time living right now. He asks me in the email about "Lord of Poker" software and I literally thought he was joking, because I know the software to be horrid. He was not joking, and explained there were some good reviews for it out there. But those reviews are fake and entirely planted by the scum marketers of this software. I figured then that if he could be lured into thinking Lord of Poker was a program worth trying, anybody could. Which is why I decided to add this review. The poker industry does not need crap like this trying to take advantage of new players.

The title says "Want to see proof?" Then the announcer of this video proceeds to log into an account and shows there is some $36g in the account. That in itself is no proof that the player used the software to attain it. Yet he does NOT show who's account it is so this could have been ripped from anywhere on Youtube. He throws around big numbers but the video shows NOTHING of the features of the software. He claims "its a good way to make extra money just sitting around at home". No logo, no aspect of the software is shown whatsoever.

They give no real names or accounts. They say things like "I am making a killing", "life is good", "the kids have everything they want", and "I made tons of money". One guy even says he only plays 2 times a week, 2 to 3 hours a day. Man that Leatherass (a real poker player) must be doing something wrong. Honeslty these reviews are so fake it makes me sick and pissed off to the core. Do these people really look like poker players to you? They weren't even using standard poker terms, like hour rate, ROI, game selection etc. Nothing honest came out of their stupid faces. Watch their video and tell me what you think.

So the Dude in the video says he makes a full time living playing like 6 hours a week? Well this software steals your entire monitor and only allows you to play ONE table at a time. And forget about doing anything else on your computer when this is running because it locks down in position as you see here. These hideous red tabs at the bottom (2) show the stats of your opponents at the table and they pop up even bigger when you scroll over them. They also have silly ratings called "bluffing" and "danger" levels. The hole cards never did show on system (3) and the program even overlays on top of your computers system tray. Just ridiculous.

Right. He is one-tabling 6 hours a week and making a living.

I bought Lord of Poker software so I could show you how bad it really is. But you might ask, how did I know it was this bad? Well this software was named something else before. It was called The Online Poker Analyzer a couple of years ago and you can see my scathing review for it on this site as well. After I called them out on how horrible The Online Poker Analyzer was, they quickly disappeared from the market, only to resurface as the Lord of Poker.

They also used an MSNBC interview on their sales page to make it look like that was thier software being talked about. Nothing could be further from the truth, yet their website says "As seen on" and uses real logos of other established websites. Unfuckingbeleivable douchebags I am telling you.

If you still don't believe how scummy Lord of Poker is, do a search on Youtube for The Poker Analyzer and you will see the same content used for that crap marketing campaign as well. One woman even says she won $25,000 in a poker tournament and called it a "Jack Pot" like she was at the fucking bingo hall. PULEEEEESE!!! And you will notice Lord of Poker used the same content but cut out the reference OPA and just added a watermark over top the video saying Lord of Poker.

I asked Lord of Poker support about The Poker Analyzer (even though I knew it was the same crap) and they did not reply. What a surprise.

This product is sold on Clickbank to unsuspecting newbies. I have spent the last five years showing how new players can play the game without losing their shirt, so this kind of snake-oil marketing really burns my ass. The company did not even bother to respond when I told them the hole card feature is not working - and I asked nicely too, because I wanted to give them a chance to own up. You know why? There is NO support, they don't care if it is useless software or doesnt even work. They are still making money because some pepole actually think it works, and others don't return the product in time for their money back.

There is no contact information on the sales page, nor any company information either. As my contact at PokerStars, Jeff says too about Lord of Poker sales page - is "non-stop hyped claims that reference a stranger that told them to buy it and then dissapeared" and "every legitimate online poker assitance tool I've seen has their own website, known contact numbers, (and) respected authors you can reach...."

There is active spamming going on right now in Twitter and Facebook with this wretched software. Actually as bad as the software is, the marketers are even worse. Do a Twitter search yourself right now and you will see that all of those users' streams are completely fake. One scumbag does this all day long and floods social media with his links.

Can you help me? I seriously want this product and these scumbags to stop making money from new poker players who just do not know enough to avoid it. I am making NOTHING from this, but it will be my sincere pleasure to see this wiped off the internet. if you can help me, I would really, really appreciate it. Here is what you can do.

1) Post this link on your facebook or twitter account:

Lord of Poker, scum of the internet. Poker software marketing hits new low. http://goo.gl/dS1WZ

2) Remove anyone making tweets to buy the software from your social media stream. Don't worry, they weren't real people anyway. They are spammers.

3) Send in a complaint to ClickBank and ask them to remove this horrible software and refer them to this page as well.

4) If you belong to a forum, please post this page link there too, especially in beginners sections.

The reason such links are important is because if enough people do it, this page will rank right up there with the Lord of Poker sales page itself. So when new players search for it, they will also be exposed to these harsh realities too.

Thank you for reading this, and if you can do anything, just make a tweet.